Fad Diet #547: The Rubber Band Diet

rubb band diet

You’ve heard of yo-yo dieting but have you heard of the rubber band diet? It’s one I made up. At least I think I did. It works most of the time, or at least for as long as I can stand 10 rubber bands being on my wrist. It’s kind of like putting a ribbon on your finger, but instead of a cute red ribbon,  it’s an ugly tan rubber band…. or 10. Every time you reach for chocolate or wine or some other “evil” thing to shovel into your mouth, you’ll be reminded by the rubber bands NOT to consume the wickedness.

Like many women “of a certain age,” I’ve tried lots of diets to help me shed the “baby fat,” 14 years after the birth of my daughter: The Atkins diet, Suzanne Summers, Weight Watchers, Slim Fast, The Zone, lo-carb, Jello, kelp shakes, Special K, The Way Down, The Makers diet, the Captain Morgan and cigarettes diet and more. I can’t really call it “baby fat” anymore since my daughter is now 14, or blame anyone but myself.

Here are some excuses I’ve used in the past. Maybe you’ve used these too? (tell me in the comments)

  • I’m too busy
  • I’m too tired
  • I’m too hung over
  • My spinning instructor’s too weird
  • My back hurts
  • My knee hurts
  • My head hurts
  • My Zumba teacher’s voice is annoying
  • I hate running into people I don’t feel like seeing at the gym
  • I’ll start on Monday
  • I’ll start next week
  • I’ll start at New Year’s
  • I’ll start after my Valentine’s chocolate is gone
  • Maybe “curvy girls” will come back in style
  • I hate to exercise
  • I need new sneakers
  • I can’t afford new sneakers
  • I have nothing to wear
  • I don’t have a workout buddy
  • I don’t have an accountability partner
  • Marilyn Monroe was a size 12 (except back then that’s equivalent to today’s size 6)
  • I have no motivation because my husband always says, “I like your curves,” and “I like a woman with meat on her bones.”
  • Etc., etc. etc.

Obviously none of these are a valid or reasonable excuse so here I go, ready to embark upon many “Day 1’s” in the quest to fit into my favorite “rock star stage clothes” once again.

So basically here’s how the rubber band diet works:

  1. Decide how much weight you want to lose: Do you want a thigh gap like Beyonce or a Big Big Booty like J-Lo?
  2. Decide which diet you are going to do to go along with the rubber band diet (Atkins, Weight Watchers, etc.)
  3. Put 1 rubber band on your wrist for each weight increment you want to lost
    • Ex: If each one represents 2 pounds and you need to lose 10, put 5 bands on
    • Ex: If you want to lose 50 pounds and each represents 5 pounds put 10 bands on
  4. For each goal reached, take off one band
  5. Every time you get a craving or want to break your diet snap the band HARD
  6. You “win” the diet when all the rubber bands are off your wrist and you reach your goal

Maybe you think it’s crazy, maybe you think it’s genius, but whatever works is what’s important.

Starting tomorrow I will be blogging about my successes and failures, my losses and gains. Feel free to cyber slap me if you see me start to lose my way because from now on, YOU’RE my accountability partner! M’kay? Ready, set, and away we go!

5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: Day #1 Diet: White Noise, Rum & the Carb-Free Writer | Wendipoprock's Wild Ride
  2. Trackback: #Diet Day 2: A Workaholic Weighs Pros & Cons of Church vs. Abode | Wendipoprock's Wild Ride
  3. Trackback: Diet Day #3: Oh the #Horror of Life Without #Wine & #Chocolate | Wendipoprock's Wild Ride
  4. Trackback: #Diet Day 4: Causing a Kerfuffle With #Cocktails at #Karaoke | Wendipoprock's Wild Ride
  5. Trackback: #MBBChallenge Days 18-22: How to Deal With Curve Balls and Know Good Friends | Wendipoprock's Wild Ride

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: