Day #1 Diet: White Noise, Rum & the Carb-Free Writer

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Today begins Day #1 of the Wendi Pop Rock Rubber Band No Carb Diet. Today, coincidentally, is also no school for my daughter, no work for my son, and no night shift for the hubs, which means, no concentration for me.  Clearly, I should have thought this through.

If I had a dollar for every time I’ve been distracted  and lost my train of thought today, I think I’d have $47. Then I could buy 2 more bottles of rum…. because I can’t drink the usual wine which contains the evil carbs my body will live without for as long as my willpower can take.

For those who haven’t read my work or bio, I write for a living, and a hobby, and hope one day my hobby could turn into a paid gig if I could ever finish what I started (3 books, 2 scripts and a children’s poem/play). With the afore-mentioned interruptions, I must attempt to cope by using “white noise” to drown it out.

Today, unfortunately, that “white” noise includes the following:

  • Sounds of pop music from the dancer
  • Sounds of and TV and video games from the metal drummer
  • Sounds of various house projects from the hubs, mixed in with occasional drum pad riffs
  • Sounds of Gunsmoke or Dragnet  blaring from the basement dweller
  • Moans and groans from the pup who, according to the metal drummer, is an attention whore (I think he’s right)

So I try, unsuccessfully, to drown it all out with a box fan, a stove fan and some rum. I have Misophonia. Google it. It’s real and it’s not fun. I can’t stand to hear people chew or crunch or swallow. I’m not really a bitch (okay, well maybe just a little). I just want to kill someone when I hear these things. So if you chew your ice, scrape your fork on your teeth or lick your fingers when you eat, I’m sorry, but we can’t be friends.

If you’ve ever tried the Atkins no carb diet then you know the first three days are the hardest. As your body detoxes from all the white flour and sugar it has been forced to take in, your emotions and mood becomes similar to the crankiness of Cruella de Ville. If you see me on the street this week, beware. I may just bite your head off– literally. It is meat and that is one of the things I can eat so……

Day 1 Stats:

Weight: 1×7.5  — You didn’t think I’d really put my weight on here for all the world to see did you??? 😉

Mood: Super cranky — Watch out, until I’ve had my 3rd glass of rum, then I’ll be yo ho ho and a bottle of fun.

Food: Meat, veggies & lots of caffeine

  • Breakfast: 2 cups o’ Joe w/sugar-free Vanilla
  • Lunch: Mixed nuts (nope- I didn’t eat myself silly!)
  • Dinner: Shell-less Tacos & Sal-IT (as the hubs calls it) & a Diet Coke

Plus/Minus: Goal is 0.5 lbs per day before I post my Valerie Bertinelli “After” shot.

So, if you see me up and online at 3 or 4 a.m., this is probably why. I do my best writing at night. Come say hi. I’lll be in a much better mood by then! 😀


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