#MyLeftBoob Continues to Kick #Cancer Butt 3 Weeks Post #Chemo

Screenshot 2015-08-10 at 6.51.00 PM

It’s been 3 1/2 weeks since I finished 16 weeks of dense dose ACT chemo and I wish I could say life has returned to “normal.” After last Tuesday’s surgery for “abnormal cells” and another lump they found in #MyLeftBoob, I’m still sore and bruised.

I won’t go into gory detail about the radioactive seed implant but I will say it was brutal and nothing like the last time. This time they stuck 2 needles in me- one to numb the breast and one to guide the seed implant. I had to sit perfectly still while a needle was sticking in my boob, then get my boob mashed and squeezed with the mammogram machine. I’ve been told I have a very high pain tolerance, but this was one of the worst procedures so far….because I was awake.

We got through about 15 minutes of pain and a few images before the doctor declared, “We have to do it over again. You moved.” I moved? If you count breathing as moving then yes, otherwise I wasn’t sure why she was blaming me. So here we go again, two MORE pokes into my already tender breast, more squeezing and compression. Thankfully I had a super sweet nurse to help calm me down.

Okay, so I ended up telling you most of the gory details. I was left a blubbering mess, almost passed out and later that night swollen and bruised. Five days later I was in for it again. I had to have surgery, my third in 7 months, to remove the lump.

You’d think I wouldn’t be nervous after two successful surgeries, but when the nurses call you the night before and ask if you have an “Advanced Directive” (living will) it gets your mind wandering to places nobody should have to go. Surgery went well and I got my biopsy results in a few days.

“Good news!” the nurse told me on Friday, “Everything looks normal, the biopsy results came back as abnormal cells that are non-cancerous but there’s nothing to worry about.” I got to bask in the joyful glow for a few days before seeing my oncologist today who interpreted the results a lot differently.

“They found more abnormal cells around the lump, but we knew that going in.”

Wait……WHAT? I thought the results were normal, they got the lump out and there’s nothing to worry about? He saw the distressed look on my face and said, “Maybe I’m reading this wrong. I’ll have to talk to [the surgeon] and I’ll give you a call.” He ended the visit by telling me I have a very “active breast” with “a lot going on.”

Well that doesn’t sound good. If there is so much going on why not just go for the mastectomy and be done with it instead of all this worry? He reassured me that if any of the abnormal cells were to grow into “something” that the radiation would kill them before it got too far.

I wasn’t satisfied with that explanation and didn’t waste any time calling my surgeon, radiologist and second doctor at Sloan Kettering, none of whom where available.

My surgeon called back to tell me what the oncologist said- that radiation should work and that would be the next step.

If you think this is all way too dramatic, you’re absolutely right. Imagine how I feel. I’m living it. The only thing I can do now is make sure I stay healthy, eat healthy, get lots of rest and educate myself so when I do see the doctors I have a battle plan.

Except the “get lots of rest part” is hard since I’ve recently taken on another job to help pay for the mounting medical bills. With a high deductible insurance plan from February’s procedure and now this one being in a new insurance year as of July 1st, we have two whopping bills to cover.

I’m trying to stay positive and focus on what the oncologist said in one of my first appointments: “You’re only stage 1 and it hasn’t spread to your lymph nodes. You’re prognosis is good. You’re going to be fine.”

I’m still in treatment for a few more months and need to stay focused on my fight right now. When I’m done with treatment I’ll try to save the world and help raise awareness again but for now, I’m just trying to get through each day and remember to breathe.

Staying busy is what got me through the first few months and I think that’s what will get me through the next few months. And before I know it, my doctor tells me, this year will be one small blip in the grand scheme of things.

So what are the next steps you ask? Waiting for 2 doctors to call me back to interpret confusing pathology results, getting a second opinion at Sloan Kettering, starting radiation soon and above all enjoying each moment I’m blessed to have with the special people I love.

“Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite. Or waiting around for Friday night or waiting perhaps for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil or a better break or a string of pearls or a pair of pants or a wig with curls or another chance. Everyone is just waiting.” ~Dr. Seuss

CLICK HERE to support My Left Boob battle on GoFundMe.com. Any amount you donate, no matter how small, is so greatly appreciated!

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