Life is Like a Boxing Match, Not a Box of Chocolates: #MyLeftBoob #BreastCancerChronicles

I found this blog post saved in my drafts folder that I wrote back in early March and wonder why I never posted it? Perhaps it was because the king of the chaotic castle I was leaving was threatening my piddly grass shack in the woods and I was afraid. This king thought he was important just because he was somewhat wealthy and surrounded himself with status symbols to make the peasants who worked for him submit to his authority. But what he didn’t realize was that there is only so long a ruler can oppress “his people” before there is mutiny. This king was egomaniac who hated any woman who was not young, beautiful, blond and skinny. The longer was held captive the more I realized I could only remain a victim as long as I stayed. So I left.

 

After the last few months of complete stress and chaos, working way too much and being stuck in an unhealthy relationship (no, not my marriage), I’ve broken out of the chains that once bound me and I am finally FREE! A few people I’ve crossed paths with lately have made snarly comments about how many jobs I’ve had, like it’s a bad thing. It’s not by my choice. If it was my choice I’d still be working from home as I did for 7 years in order to be there for my kids. But unfortunately layoffs happen, life happens and you do what you have to do to survive.

Sorry Forrest, but life is not at all like a box of chocolates. A box of chocolates comes in a shiny gold box, freshly sealed in plastic, wrapped in a silky red ribbon. When you open that up your suspense heightens because there is a glossy bi-fold paper filled with delicious, delectable photos of every decadent chocolate treat just millimeters away from your anxious fingers. Beyond that lays a squishy piece of black cardboard separating your watering mouth from dark chocolate truffles with raspberry, caramel and milk chocolate centers. Maybe that’s life for millionaires.

For us working class blue-collar folks, life is more like a boxing match. It’s brutal and the pain seems never-ending at times. It takes a sucker punch at you, catches you off guard, smashes you in the head a bunch of times and then knocks you bloody and bruised, down the ground. While you’re laying there staring at the tooth you just spit out on the dirty ground next to your swollen cheek, you think you’ve been beaten so much that you might not have the strength to get back up again but then you hear your coaches, your friends—

“Hang in there. Life sucks, people suck. I wish I could help. I’m here for you. Don’t stoop to their level. You’re better than that. Don’t listen. Karma will get them. Just keep moving forward.”

And so you get back up.

Life is like a box you left in your garage that you’ve packed and moved along with you during each of your 20 relocations in the last 12 years. That box may look a little crusty on the outside, but you can’t throw it out. Inside sits a tiny white cotton sweater that a neighbor hand-knit for your adorable baby girl to wear home from the hospital before that same sweet neighbor passed away. It may be tattered and torn but just beyond the dingy brown packing tape sits a story your middle son wrote in second grade in crayon, complete with stick figures, about why he loves his mom. And then there’s the guest book to your oldest son’s graduation reminding you that your babies are not babies any longer. Time is fleeting.

I know that I am not going to waste any time working for, or surrounding myself around, people who suck all the life and love out of me. There will always be another job, another boss, another battle to fight— win or lose. I stared death in the face many times during my 2-year cancer battle I know that life is way too short to waste time on people who make you feel anything less than what and who I am— a strong, talented, loving, caring, giving human being who tries to do what’s good and strives to treat others the way I want to be treated.
Life is full of changing seasons— seasons of drought and seasons of turmoil,sickness, seasons of sadness, loss and famine, seasons of health and maybe some temporary wealth, seasons of tragedy and grief, followed by overwhelming laughter, joy and amazing love.  That’s life and, win or lose, I’m so glad to be blessed with another day. And now for some chocolate.
Photos by Rob Howard and Recetas Pasteles via Flickr Creative Commons

#NoCarb #Diet Day 20: #Wine & #Chocolate Wins This Weekend; It’s #NaNoWriMo !

wine n choc

Oh wine and chocolate how I’ve missed you so!

This post will be short and sweet…. just like the delicious Chardonnay I am sipping on, accompanied by the “fun size” Twix you see pictured. The Atkins diet is just no match for Halloween candy and wine…. and writing a 50,000 word novel in 30 days. It’s NaNo time!

What’s that? It’s called NaNoWriMo which stands for “National Novel Writing Month.” Beginning in less than 30 minutes at the stroke of midnight, thousands of writers from across the nation will join me in meeting their goal of 1,666 words per day to reach 50K by Nov. 30.

I tried, and failed last year but this year I am full of vim and vigor, a little snark and sass, with a splash of wine for good measure. I will not let someone tell me not to write about them because it is “their story.” I lived it too. It is my story. I will not let “The B” tell me I am a narcissist who lives in the past. I will not let anyone bring me down. And most important tonight: I will not let myself get distracted by the five loud, shrieking teenagers hopped up on Halloween candy get me off to a bad start.

Kelp shakes will have to wait.

No carbs will have to wait.

My main goal this month, for the next 30 days, is to finally finish something I started. Just like that Van Halen song.

No more mood swings, no more food swings, ain’t nobody got time for that! It’s NaNo time! Ready, set, WRITE!

Diet Day #3: Oh the #Horror of Life Without #Wine & #Chocolate

I had a horror-ful night…. is that a word?If not, I just made it up. The girl is moody, the boy is sleepy, the dog is moany and I can’t have any wine or chocolate!!!! Serenity now!!!!

Yep! It’s Day #3 of the no-carb rubber band diet and I have not bitten anyone’s head off yet. Except maybe a baby kitty…….

carrie

I call this “Ode to Carrie During the Loss of My Inhibitions.”

Psyche. It’s just me post-fright-fest in my shower after using Vampire Red Manic Panic hair dye. The same hair dye I’ve been using since my goth girl teen angst years. Some things never change. It did look like I just murdered a small kitten so of course I needed to document the occasion. (I know what the B is saying—> narcissist)

It is October after all. I can post scary pix like EVERY DAY if I want because there are only 16 days until Halloween!!!!! That means only 16 more days to lose 18 pounds so I can look sexy in my “Sexy Hamburger” “Sexy Mario” or “Sexy Taco” costume. HA! Juuuust kidding! (Or am I?!) The sexy Subway lady in that commercial told me I better lose some weight so I can look as good as her, so I’m listening. Except I’m eating homemade (flourless) beef stew in my brand new $400 brand Pampered Chef pots. Do they make the food taste like Wolfgang Puck or Emeril made it? I will soon find out.

Check out the video here.

I’m not really going to be sexy nurse or foxy fullback or anything cliché, but I will look good no matter what I go as dadburnit! Tomorrow is the real test of my willpower. Dinner and karaoke with friends. I can drink Captain n’ Diet still. Yeah, that’ll work.

They say Day #3 is the hardest of my Rubber Band No-Carb diet and thank peaches it’s almost over!

Day 3 Stats:

Weight: 1×5.5  — down 2 pounds, 3 more and I can take off 1 rubber band! Woo hoo!

Mood: PUNCHY!

Food:

  • Breakfast: 2 cups o’ Joe w/sugar-free Vanilla
  • Lunch: Baked & marinated chicken with zucchini, squash and one of my red hairs in the last bite. YUM!
  • Dinner: $400 pan-cooked beef stew. Tasked like $5, just sayin’

Tomorrow is going to be a looooong day with lots of fun on top, like a gooey hot fudge sundae with chocolate and peanut butter sauce, fresh whipped cream and a juicy cherry. YUM!